Our group at TFC - before the issues! Geezeee, I love the camera...Well as it is always said you are never too old to learn a new lesson in life. It's the truth. After a great weekend full of fun and exciting things on my agenda the fun came crashing down around me Saturday night. I'll admit now: I'm overly sensitive, I freak out easily and most of all I will always need my mother.
This past Saturday has taught me a lesson.
Here's what went down.
The four of us loaded up the SUV (Best friend, Brother, other Best Friends Boyfriend and I)
We drove across the Illinois state line to crappy ol' Indiana. Hammond to be exact. This was merely a repeat from months earlier. Been there done this was the case. We were all off to see a friend fight in the Total Fight Challenge and we were all super pumped to see him win again just as he did last October. I decided to be the DD and only consumed 2 beers while there. I got into an argument with my brother that needless to say ended badly, real bad. You see I am a compulsive planner and I just like to know when where and what all the time. I really don't see a problem with that apparently he did. A simple question turned into him yelling at me like he was my father. I would have none of that, I was done. The minute he started shouting obsenities to my face did it for me. I felt 15 again. I got up and walked away because no one, and I mean No One is going to talk to me like that. This is when my over sensitiveness kicked in at full speed. I realized that I let my feelings guide me to my phone, I dialed my mother because I just did not want to be there anymore. I didn't want to subject myself to anymore of that pain that I felt. Apparently I made it worse, and shit went down. He said some pretty mean things to me after finding out that I had made that phone call, and it didnt end there.
To make a long story shorter....no one came to get me
I had to be the bigger person and go sit back with him. He said nothing. I figured that silence was golden and it was going to blow over. Damn, I was wrong once again. Upon leaving I did NOT want to start a war so I kept my mouth shut and here is where I made one Very BAD decision.
I was too scared to argue with him about the keys and I didn't persuade him to let me drive like I know I very well should have done. I can't believe myself even now, I let him drive home intoxicated. So much for that good older sister that I tend to belive I am. I failed in the sibling department that night....Well seriously so did he.
All ended fine--meaning everyone got home safe and sound. He has only said a handful of words to me since Saturday and I am fine with that. What gets me is that he continued to drink after we returned back to Illinois and left me two nasty messages, One via text--One via voicemail. Which I didn't get until the morning. He hurt me.
From now on I'm going to do things different. I should have reversed my freakout moment to the parking lot toward the end of the night and made him give me his keys. I love him too much to see him get hurt, and that could have happened that night. I feel like it was my 'get outta jail free' card, and now it's expired. I need to learn to do the right things and not get scared or back down. That night could have easily turned out much worse for more than just me.
No comments:
Post a Comment