What protects my heart?

Cue the sad sappy music, I need it.
So since the end of my 9 year relationship, I've been working hard on moving on and moving up. Can't say that 6 months has brought me any luck though, some sad news came about today.

So there have been a few, ok only 2 guys that have caught my interest in the past 6 months. This girl is definitely guilty of being roped in by emotions and that first encounter. First guy kinda stomped on my heart, yet in the long run he's a really GREAT guy and any girl would be lucky to have him. He was the first, he stole my heart! After only being single for 25 days, I made my first attempt to go out, mingle and meet new people. Great idea, because some really great friends have come from that choice I made.
I met him, seriously the first time I met him I swear I didn't say more than 'Oh hi'....I wasn't in the friendly mood, I felt forced.
Soon after that I became more aquaint with the bars and the people I was seeing, and I ran into him again. He caught my eye this time, and we talked. Such a sweetie. If anyone knows me, I am a sucker for these guys.....
As the night went on we got closer and eventually got the nerve to swap numbers. Not like our mutual friends couldn't have done it for us, but it was like a HUGE step for me. I, Casey, actually gave my legitimate number out to a guy. Floored, I still am!!!
We talked, hung out, confessed that we like each other.......then things got wierd. He still to this day is convinced that I want a relationship, but in all reality I was looking to get to know him better.
I have been known to be the clingy type, well who couldnt see that.....For real I was in a 9 year relationship!!!
So we're friends, so I think.
Then came him. Oh I have had a thing for him since the day I met him, but I was in a relationship.......
We ran into each other and I was convinced he would have no fucking clue who I was. After all that's how it always was, no one remembered me, just my friends.
So I decided to be bold (Not me at all!!) and I went up to him.
I said "Oh I remember you! Do you remember me?" totally expecting to have to go through this long ordeal about how I met him, where when and how..
T says "Yea, you came to my house with you're friend right?"

I was GLOWING! He remembered who I was from like 3 years ago.
We exchanged numbers.
I blew him off a few times, not because there was anything wrong with him, I just freaked out. My biggest fear now lied in the hands of my own friends. I did NOT want to go out with a guy alone, especially for the first time. (If I could take anything back it would be this, I wish I wouldnt have done that, and grew some balls and maybe now he would actually know how I feel about him)

Eventually me and T hang out, actually on Sweetest Day! Ironic, Yes! He was a complete gentleman and I hung out with him and a few friends. I was Completly comfortable and happy. OMG, did I just say that I was happy?

We talk, and I guess I kinda got to know him. He sent me this really cute picture of him and his daughter a few weeks ago and I was kinda weary. Why was he sending this to me? Kinda threw me for a loop, and then we kinda got distant. He got sick, and then like clockwork so did I.....
Not from him either....
So today after not talking to him for a few days, and not seeing him since the day I returned from Vegas....Um December 15th!......I decided to shoot him a text while he was at work.
Through some texting I find out that he quit his job today. Not what I wanted to hear, because deep down I knew what that meant.
You see a few weeks back we talked about his new prospect of a job he applied to. If he were to get accepted he would be moving.....See where my sadness comes in?
So I tried hard to pretend I didnt assume that he had gotten the job, I played it off saying 'Seriously?" and when he replied "Yeah", I knew what I had to say next.
"So you got the job huh?" and naturally he said "Yes!"

Don't get me wrong I am Super excited for him. I told him a few weeks, or a month or so ago...
"If you get the job I will be happy for you but if you don't I'll be happy that you stay here in Illinois with me!"
So I am happy, just sad too. Just meeting him one random night at a bar, I thought maybe for a few weeks that it meant something. Maybe it still does.
He's a good guy. He never wanted to hurt me, but I'm pretty sure he will never forget me!

Here's to you "T" ~ CONGRATS from the heart, you deserve it! ~Xoxo Casey